my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
