Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
