she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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