You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I have feelings that need drinking.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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