Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
