yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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