i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
