9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I AM VODKA MAN
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize