In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
farters have to be the big spoon...
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
