i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Randomize
