We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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