I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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