i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
