Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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