It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
