do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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