Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
