dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize