Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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