you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
