I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
