best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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