You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
