i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
