You're completely useless in the revolution.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I am available for nakedness
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
