She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
