If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
