i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
