at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
