At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
