Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
