He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
