There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
