I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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