i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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