I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
