Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
