I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I wear drunk well.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
