oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
