It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
