I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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