My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
