'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
