i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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