Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
