ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
