2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
