Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
thus making me awesome and them whores
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
she pinky promised me she was 18
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
