Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
