He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
What drink are we having for lunch?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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