they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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