waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
