are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
this hospital has no fireball
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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