if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You ruined the universe
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