Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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