I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
