Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
