ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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