It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
