But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
