you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
