I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
